Divorce Diamonds. 5 Ways to Use Your Wedding Ring After Divorce

Let’s talk diamonds.

In recently revisiting one of my most popular posts, 5 ways to use wedding dress, it got me to thinking about the ring too. So as more and more women (and men) have been reaching out to me asking what to do about the ring, I think we should talk about it. Amongst other things. I’ve talked a lot about the stuff left behind after divorce. What do you do with it? The good memories, the bad memories. You would think it would be easy to let it all go. But the dress, the ring, and the photos have been the hardest for me. And I’m not alone in that. While we talk dresses, forgiveness and moving on, I thought it only natural to follow up with a second post just for the divorce diamonds.

Full disclosure.

While I rid myself of all his old belongings, I still haven’t deleted the photos, I haven’t trashed the dress – just yet, plans in the works, and the ring still sits on my vanity. My niece loves to sit at the vanity and do her “makeup”. I came into the room recently and she had all my rings on, including my wedding ring. I panicked. I told her she wasn’t allowed to play with that one and when she asked why I didn’t have an answer. I stuttered and told her “because I said so”, in true adult fashion.

As I recanted the story to a close friend, she looked at me and said,

“She can play with it now Jessica. It doesn’t mean anything to you anymore.”

I know in my heart that should be true but it hurts to think about parting with it. As I’ve been moving my way through the final grief stage of acceptance, I have been making some final arrangements to let the last of these things go. So I started researching what to do with the wedding ring after divorce.

Here are 5 Ways to Use Your Wedding Ring After Divorce.

1. Sell it.

It’s hard to think about reducing something you loved and wore with pride to dollar signs. So I ask you this? If it hurts you to have around, why keep it? It no longer has sentimental value but breeds sadness and grief. So maybe its time to let the memories go along with the jewelry and just escape with some cash. Worthy helps you do just that. Check out this awesome website dedicated to helping you make money off bad memories.

2. Turn it into something else.

So you can’t part with it? According to Amy Vanderbilt’s 1952 etiquette book, proper wedding and engagement ring etiquette after divorce dictates specific repurposing. Take the ring to a jeweler and have it redesigned, then wear the final product on your pinkie finger to show potential suitors your availability. However this day and age you will be the only one besides me that knows what that means. Try a shirt instead. I am in full support however of repurposing divorce diamonds. Make something beautiful out of something beautiful. Then wear it with pride. Dominion Jewelers has a popular post about 3 ways to redesign your ring.

3. Put it in a coffin.

I didn’t know this was a thing until I started the research for this post. But wedding ring coffins do exist. Get creepy and put it in a coffin. I’m unsure how I feel about this. If thinking about an old ring on my body hurts, putting it in a coffin and displaying it on a fucking shelf feels so weird and wrong. But you do you.

4. Give it back.

If he bought it at Fred Meyer for under $1k, like my ex, I’m pretty sure you don’t have to give it back. It will cost you more in gas or postage to return it. That’s bitchy. I actually love my ring. Well I loved it and I love him, but he loves someone else now and also I just really don’t think a ring he could buy with one paycheck constitutes returning. His new girlfriend’s ring will probably be much more expensive, now that he got a life after we divorced. Thanks for that d bag. So maybe if it’s super expensive, give it back. Or sell it and take a vacation. Proper etiquette says you should give back a ring with family heirloom ties. Laws in certain states state stipulations. I guess it’s more of a case by case basis if you should return it.

5. Keep it.

I’ve found that for a lot of people, women especially the parting of the dress and ring is the hardest part. But do you really want to wear it? I thought about it. Wearing it on the right hand, putting it on a necklace. But in its form, as it stands, I can’t bear to look at it. When I look at it, I see the future. I see him proposing, I see the first pictures we took when he proposed, I see him wiping tears off my face at our wedding. So unless it’s altered, I won’t be putting it on anytime soon. But if it doesn’t feel right yet, keep it. Don’t get rid of it if you don’t want or need to. I believe I will know when the time is right and it hasn’t been for me just yet. If it doesn’t bother you to see it, you could continue to wear it. Try moving it to your right hand or another finger. Give it to your children. Though I’m not sure I would want to wear a ring of my parents failed marriage, but if it has other value for family or sentimental reasons, please do.

Bottom line.

It all comes down to personal preference. My best advice? Wait. Wait a little while before you do anything with your ring to avoid any remorse. As time passes you will know what to do. Even if that means keeping it. You have every right to process your memories as you see fit.