Welcome.
A Life Of Events.
Welcome to the very first glimpse into my daily life. You know my actual life where I make money and don’t cry all the time about my divorce. Supposedly. Living a life in events means that I get to experience a lot of things most people with the daily 8 to 5 don’t get to. My daily schedule varies. I don’t do the same thing day after day. It’s always different and I love it. I love events. LOVE THEM. Always have. This work isn’t for the faint of heart. Long hours, crazy people, high dollar events, one chance to get it right.
The X.
The X hated what I do. Ironic, considering we met at a hotel where I was the Director of Catering. He knew who I was and what I did. I always supported him, he rarely supported me. When I took my current position it offered me the rare opportunity to work from home and make a decent living. He was always telling me to get a real job. You know, since I didn’t really work since I was at home. But I love it and I have been able to live my dream of running my own business, without all the liability. I supported both of us as the primary breadwinner for years. Then after our divorce, he started to make more money than me. Neat.
The last year.
Over the last year, I was focused on getting a new job. Thinking maybe that would change things. He hated my job so if I could do something different maybe I would be able to keep my husband. Plus with him making more money finally, I would be able to leave my job for something else and actually afford it. One year later, I am still doing the same thing and it’s okay. I turned down not one but two potential offers for hotel work this year. Ultimately the money wasn’t good enough and being single/supporting the house and bills by myself, I can’t afford to make a decision that would jeopardize me financially. I’m already barely making ends meet. Here’s the thing though, I love what I do. Well, most of the time. I do though. I love what I do. I work from home. My schedule is flexible. I do my own thing. I’m good at it. But above all else, I am happy.
Moving on.
Moving on. I have suffered insomnia off and on my whole life. Also, I suffer from nightmares. I remember nightmares as a youth and I continue to have nightmares on occasion as an adult. More recently I have also been suffering from night terrors. More on that later. Divorce and the uncertainty of life have caused me my fair share of anxiety the last year. So racing thoughts, stress, and a general overwhelm of life causes insomnia off and on. I couldn’t sleep the last week with the impending anniversary of our separation. Side note, am I the only one haunted by these anniversaries? I hope the next year it passes as another day and doesn’t leave such an imprint on my life. But sometimes our bodies remember thinks we don’t want to.
“Talkin’ in my sleep at nightMakin’ myself crazy”
Insomnia.
Normally insomnia doesn’t affect my daily life. If I need to, I can sleep a little later. The X was an early bird, me not so much. I notice as the year goes on that I have been sleeping later like I used to. That, and when I was finally able to silence the thoughts long enough to fall asleep, depression the last year has kept me not wanting to ever wake up. So I’ve been dragging my ass out of bed later and later. But Tuesday morning, I had to be in a board meeting at 9:30 am in Portland. If you know anything about Portland, you may know we now have one of the worst commutes in the nation.
So rather than sleeping in, I had to wake my ass up early, make myself presentable and drive an hour or more to go 15 miles to my board meeting. I sit on the board for our local MPI, Meeting Professionals International chapter. I have always wanted to be involved. I like recognition. Plus being involved and networking is how I ended up with this job. It’s also how I ended up with an award earlier this year. More on this later too. I didn’t want to wake up, as usual. But I rolled out of bed, put on my lipstick and heels, made some coffee and started that commute. I made it to the hotel a couple minutes late, paid $16 to park for a few hours and headed to my meeting.
Bored meeting.
I pretended to listen and be present for an hour. The meeting ended and I sat in the banquet room for awhile working on my laptop next to a couple other gals. We talked divorce for a while. Discussed online dating woes. I was waiting for a couple friends to meet me so I popped out to the lobby when I saw them arrive. The luncheon was sold out so we hung around in the lobby waiting to see if they would be able to get in. But they decided wine was more important. I was hungry though, so I joined the meeting to grab a quick lunch. I’m mainly always here for the food and I paid for this meal. Well my boss did, but regardless I wanted to eat. I inhaled my lunch then ducked out to grab wine with the friends. One of the nice perks of my job is that networking is a huge part of it. Most of us have expense accounts. I enjoy a lot of free drinks, hotel rooms, fun events, travel, and more. Plus since networking is part of my job, I get paid to hang out with friends and drink wine.
And there’s wine.
After our wine sesh, I headed back to my office or home as you may call it. My friends were blowing me up about coming to Taco Tuesday at T’s new place. I have been blessed to make some new friends this year. Friends I likely would have never known if my divorce hadn’t given me the freedom to get out more. Friends who have been going through similar hardships in life, including divorce and death. I have told you before if you haven’t gone through a divorce then you really can’t understand what it feels like. So having a friend going through the exact (or very similar) situation at the same time was truly a blessing. That sounds awful, but it’s true. We could understand one another’s grief and really knew how to support each other. These friends have become family and we recently started doing Friday night Family dinners together. I can’t say enough good things about the friends I’ve made who have stood by my side through every awful thing that has happened to me the last year. We cook together, drink wine, bow our heads for grace, and share a meal.
Taco Tuesday.
I didn’t necessarily want to go on Tuesday though, as I was incredibly behind at work. I got talked into it though. Some new friends were going to be present and my presence was required, not requested. So I grabbed a couple of bottles of wine and headed out. My friends know how busy I get this time of year and told me just come and bring your laptop!! This is my busiest time of the year with work so I set up my laptop and was working away so I could catch up but still be social.
#Framily.
Isolation.
During my marriage, I felt very isolated. The X was not as social as me, he had few friends and minimal family. He didn’t enjoy spending time with my family, made them feel uncomfortable when they would visit. As if they were unwelcome in our home. He wanted all of my time. I felt guilty when I had plans and he was at home, though I never said anything when he wanted to do the things he wanted. O When I would talk on the phone he would stand over me. Over time, I grew to feel as if I was never allowed to hang out with friends or family. I lost so much time with family and friends. Being able to see friends and family whenever I want without guilt has been wonderful. I have been able to reconnect with friends and family the last year, as well as meet so many new people.
